Yay, it'll be Christmas soon. =D haha. I love Christmas. I love Christmas. Yes, part of it has to do with the festivities i admit, but I don't think Christ begrudges us celebrating the blessings He's given to us through the year, and above all that He is our greatest gift. It's a time to enjoy the love of one's family and friends, to spend time and catch up with loved ones and above all, most of all, to bask in the love of Christ. That Jesus really came to die on the Cross for me. He came to die for me. That God would humble Himself enough to come in human form to love me and die for me that I might be free, that I might be filled daily with the wonder and awe of His love and grace. Yay. I guess sometimes I look too much at the difficulty, the suffering, the horrors of crucifixion, and it is truly horrible and the worst suffering any man could go through, and then i feel my yoke and own cross to be incredibly heavy and difficult to bear, not that carrying one's cross is easy. But i suppose Christmas brings you back to just focussing on Jesus. Solely and purely on Jesus. On the wonder and beauty of His gift. It is a gift, to be received freely and with great love and joy and thanksgiving. It is a gift!

Sometimes/oftentimes i struggle with sanctification. Lord, why must we still battle against the flesh. It's irritating, it's hard, it's difficult. Lord, I'm scared I will fail, I'm afraid I will disappoint You, I'm afraid I will make wrong choices that lead me away from You, I'm afraid I will disobey and just plain do wrong. And well that does happen because we are in imperfect states right now, and often I get so worked up/exasperated with myself. heh. But Christmas, and well actually everyday, reminds me that Jesus' sacrifice is truly enough. it is truly enough and it is a gift that I have done nothing and will never ever able to merit or be a bit more justified in receiving it. I really don't want to waste my life, I don't want to live my life knowing that I chose the world instead of Christ, that what Christ asked me to do for His name and kingdom I didn't because I didnt want to be uncomfortable, because I was stubborn, selfish etc. That worries and scares me a lot of the time. But I think whilst we must bear that in mind, the truth is that Christ sacrifice is enough, it is truly enough and we will stand no more or less justified other than by the blood of Christ. Not that what we do therefore has no consequence or bearing (and it depends on which school of thought u come from. heh. hmm. not going there), but ultimately, even if I go to heaven and realise that I didnt live that great a life, even if I make it to heaven and I only do so as one saved by fire, even if I go there and joyful though I may be at seeing Christ I find that He's disappointed with me (i don't know if He'd be that way in heaven, i'm not going to begin discussing it here), i think that though i'd be crushed, it's ok because I have Jesus and because He's the greatest gift of all.