I'm back from my cousin's wedding dinner. i have my work cut out for me. got to prepare a sharing for some event tmw, need to clean up my obstetrics history for case presentation tmw. but i just wanted to jot down some thoughts.

The wedding dinner was lovely. I've been to quite a few weddings and so after your first few wedding's are a little similar. heh. sorry. but this was really nice and sweet, perhaps because it's my cousin so it's someone precious to me, but i was also very moved by the love between the couple. i didnt realise my cousin was that old, heh, hm, and i'm just amazed how she waited all those years for her husband; and also how her husband waited and how they found each other. (my cousin's more than a decade older than me. heh) they seem so perfect for each other so it was really nice. Just before we left the cousins got together to do a yam seng. we haven't done that in ages. i think the last time might've been when i was 15 years old at a CNY dinner or something like that. it was quite sad though finding out that one of my cousin's families had stopped going to church. lately witness and outreach have been pretty strong upon my heart. Not because we Christians have that mission, which we do, not because we need to be doing stuff for God, which we do and don't, but simply because I love the people around me too much. I love them because they are so lovely and wonderful, because they bring so much joy and love to my life. And because I cannot wish or yearn for anything greater for them than to know the love of Christ, than to know the One who made them and in whom is found all meaning and life. I don't know what i'd give to see my dad, my brother, my cousins, my aunties and uncles saved. I just wanted to cry in the car ride home thinking of the possibility that some of my loved ones won't be in heaven with me. I'd hate that so much, it breaks my heart even just thinking about it. It breaks my heart so much. I want those i love to know God, because I love them much.

I think it starts with making an effort to love and be there for them. I've often complained how I'm not that close to my cousins. So start asking them out for lunch, start being involved in their lives, start making the effort to strike up conversation. Make the sacrifices and make the time needed to be there. And above all pray and cry out to the only One who can bring them to Him.